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Page updated 21-Jun-2006

Categories: gay

Frot means two cocks rubbing together, and is presented as an alternative to anal sex. It was the predominant form of male-male pleasure among both gays and straight-identified guys throughout history until the late 1970s and early 80s, when the "buttfuck dictatorship" hijacked the gay community. Previously anal sex was seen as an anomaly or variation, but now it is seen as the epitome of gay sex. This is causing incalculable damage in the biological, relational, and social spheres by discouraging men from a safer, more enjoyable, and more socially acceptable form of contact. Bill Weintraub, one of the 60s gay activists, explains frot and history and how things changed on his site. (Those curious about the 1980s change should see this.) When I read the articles, they confirmed a lot of things I have felt for years but have never heard anybody say in an organized way. I have always found holding somebody as important as sex, prefer JO over more elaborate modes, and don't enjoy anal. I've met a lot of people who feel that way, so why is this totally ignored by the organized gay community?

The main scene in every gay porn video is anal. What is the bottom guy doing? He's not grunting in pleasure, he's practically screaming in pain! And his dick isn't even hard! How can it be when this thing is pushing where it don't belong? This is what sex is supposed to be about? The anus is not a sex organ and never will be. The natural form of male-female contact is penetrative. The natural form of male-male contact is non-penetrative: two cocks rubbing together. In both cases, two sex organs stimulate each other's nerve endings, which were designed for pleasure. (If that doesn't quite do it for you, a JO will finish it off. The frot advocates are neutral on the subject of oral.)

If that weren't enough, frot eliminates 95% of potential HIV transmission, as well as other STDs. That's much better than condoms. The anus by its design is a breeding ground for STDs; there's no worse way to fuck somebody. They gay community missed the boat when jumped on the condom bandwagon: just stop buttfucking!

Some people say there is intense pleasure behind the pain, and maybe that's true. But many people do not feel the pleasure but only the pain. They do anal because their partner expects it or they think it's a requirement for gays. And for those who want to view non- penetrative porn: there isn't any! (Well, except the BG East stuff. Wake up, directors! You're missing a market.)

Anal puts the bottom in a pseudo-woman role, and perpetuates the stereotype of gays as weak. Straights used to shout "Gays are pussies!", but now the gay community itself believes it. [Desi Arnaz slaps forehead:] Ayayayayay! Drag queens are legitimate satire, but does every gay event have to be emceed by one? Camp and the "I'm just a girl" mentality are robbing men of their birthright. Frot sex is not top/bottom but two equals face to face, two warriors enjoying each other's strength and virility. Testosterone is what makes men men, and it causes both the desire to fight and compete and the desire to fuck, so is it any surprise they would want to do it in this manly face-to-face, chest-to-chest, cock-to-cock way? This is not necessarily "gay" -- whatever gay means -- it's just human. Many gays are rediscovering it, and many straight-identified guys have done it more times than they like to admit.

Straights revile gays for many reasons, including religious belief, perception of weakness, but #1 has got to be: "You put your thing where shit comes out? And wear chaps to show it off? Yuk!" In this they are right, and everybody who does it has to overcome his own revultion first, so why bother?

We've seen that frot removes the #1 most obnoxious aspect of the gay world, and it's also equal-equal rather than top/bottom, and arguably more manly. Guys who do it are more likely to be bi or straight- identified, and to have an "ordinary guy" mannerism rather than a "gay" one. These are the changes that will likely happen in the gay community if frot becomes more widespread. Frot is reaching a critical mass, not enough to challenge the gay orthodoxy yet, but enough to become an alternative scene. A scene that mixes both gay and non-gay members, a place where the label "gay" becomes meaningless. The real division is not gay vs straight but "Do you have hangups about same-sex attraction or not?" Apparently 60% of the good-looking guys under 30 on MySpace don't, because they chose "bi" or "not sure".

It drives me up the wall that gay community leaders are speaking in my name, saying anal is the epitome of gay life, that if you don't like it you're "not gay enough", and making sure the straight world knows all gays aspire to anal. Pride parades claim to speak in my name yet consist of people I can't relate to -- fems and drag queens. Gay bars provide a choice of twink or caricature (Tom of Finland leather, cowboy). This was not the goal the original gay liberators fought for. This was supposed to be a temporary evolution point. But the community stagnated years ago due to the the buttfuck dictatorship, which likes things just the way they are.

I'd really like a bar full of people I can relate to, something like a navy bar but where the guys don't have hangups about same-sex attraction. Guys who like it real: real aggression (e.g., fightsports, military) rather than caricatures, fetish, or costumes. Guys who are what some call "straight-acting", though it's neither straight nor acting. Does it exist anywhere? I can find such people one by one, but never in a concentration. Bar owners, take note: another untapped market. (And a coffeehouse would be even better, for those who don't drink much.)

There is one thing I disagree with Weintraub about, but I'll put that in part 2.

OK, enough rambling. I've made a lot of people mad. But I felt it had to be said. Feedback welcome.

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Sluggo is Mike Orr, a helluva friendly guy in Seattle. Email me if you have feedback.